Creating Slack in the Midst of Crisis: The Calmest Person Wins
By Karl Pister, PCC
Moments of pressure are inevitable when you become a leader. Maybe it’s not nuclear missiles ninety miles from your border, but it can feel just as intense. A failing project, a public mistake, an angry board, a growing conflict on your team. These are moments where every instinct says “react now”.
However, history reminds us that reaction and leadership are not the same thing.
Thirteen Days of Pressure
One of the best teachers is history. Robert F. Kennedy’s book Thirteen Days captures one of the most tense and dangerous periods in modern times: the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Reconnaissance photos had confirmed that the Soviet Union was installing nuclear missiles in Cuba, just ninety miles from Florida. Two camps formed in the U.S. administration: one demanded immediate military action, the other urged restraint and a naval blockade.
And in the middle of that debate was a young president who had already been bruised by the Bay of Pigs and knew that one wrong decision could ignite a global war.
Then came the breaking point: a U.S. U-2 spy plane was shot down. The pressure to retaliate was enormous. Every voice around him seemed to say, Mr. President, how much more do you need to see?
The Calmest Person Wins
What makes this moment remarkable is not just the outcome. It’s the mindset behind it. JFK didn’t assume the worst. He paused. He considered that it might have been a mistake. He opened channels for communication instead of launching missiles.
Deepak Malhotra, in reflecting on this crisis, wrote:
“Create slack. If your calculus for retaliation ignores the possibility of mistakes or misunderstandings, the risk of unhealthy and inappropriate escalation increases.”
That single phrase “create slack” is leadership gold.
Slack Is Not Weakness
Leaders often believe that acting fast equals strength in a crisis situation. But more often, it’s the pause that makes the difference.
Creating slack is not inaction. But it’s actually making room for wisdom to enter before emotion takes over. It’s recognizing that escalation has a cost, and that the calmest person usually leads the way out.
I’ve seen this principle play out hundreds of times in executive coaching sessions. When a leader creates slack in a tense situation, especially when every instinct tells them to react, they often discover a truth that changes the entire trajectory of the conflict.
Bringing It Closer to Home
You may not be managing a Cold War, but you are leading in a world that can feel just as volatile. A colleague questions your decision in front of others. A team member sends an email that feels disrespectful. A senior leader gives feedback that stings.
The question is: can you create slack?
Can you resist the impulse to react in kind and instead choose to respond with clarity?
Can you give yourself enough space to check assumptions before escalating?
Can you ask, “What else might be true here?” before drawing conclusions?
These are not small questions. They are the difference between temporary damage and lasting trust.
The Real Work of Leadership
Leadership is about being disciplined enough to know when not to decide too quickly. If Kennedy could hold steady when the stakes were nuclear, surely we can take a pause before sending that email, entering that meeting, or responding to that criticism.
The calmest person wins, not because they control the situation, but because they control themselves.
As always, happy to assist in any way with your crisis interventions.
