What Leaders Miss When They Don’t See the Other Side
By Karl Pister, PCC
So many conflicts grow from a simple error. We do not see the other side. Two everyday images — a prism and a beach ball — help us correct that and resolve issues faster with less drama.
The Mistake That Starts Most Conflicts
I coach senior leaders who move fast and decide faster. What derails smart people is not usually malice. It is neglect. We do not look for what the other side contributes to the full picture. We argue about our “white light” and ignore the prism.
All transformation begins with awareness. If we slow down enough to see more of the picture, better choices appear.
The Prism
Think of light passing through a cut-glass window. White light enters. A patch of color lands on the floor. The light is the same, but the details change when something bends it.
In conflict, good questions, quiet listening, and consistent reflection act like that prism. The angle does not need to be harsh. Subtle shifts reveal useful distinctions.
Prism moves you can make in a meeting:
Name the white light. “Here is my current view in one sentence.”
Add a gentle bend. “What part of this am I missing from your side?”
Let the spectrum appear. “What tradeoffs or risks look different from your seat?”
Exit with clarity. “What did we learn that changes the next step?”
When you do this, small wavelength differences show up as real options. The room calms. People see a path forward.
The Beach Ball
Now picture a simple beach ball. I once sat in a session where each person described the colors they saw. Almost no one matched. Same ball. Different panels. Different truths.
At work I often find two teams arguing about a “ball” they have not turned. They guess what is on the other side. They fill the gaps with narrative. Given time, those narratives harden into pseudo facts. Strategy built on pseudo facts fails.
Beach ball moves you can use today:
Turn the ball one panel. “If we rotate this once, what becomes true that was not true a minute ago?”
Name the panel colors. “From finance this looks yellow. From operations it looks blue. What decision respects both?”
Check the story. “Which parts are facts we can point to and which parts are our story about the other side?”
Why These Simple Pictures Work
They slow the impulse to defend and create space to learn. The prism invites inquiry. The beach ball invites perspective. Together they reset the room from positions to shared problem solving.
A 5-Minute “Prism and Beach Ball” Reset
Use this before a tense meeting or when a conversation starts to heat up.
State the issue in one sentence. That is your white light.
Ask two prism questions.
What do you see that I cannot from my perspective?
What decision would a reasonable person make from your seat, and why?
Turn the beach ball.
Name two “panel colors” that conflict and write the real constraints behind each.
Kill one pseudo fact.
Separate what you know from what you are assuming. Replace one assumption with a quick data point or a direct ask.
Agree on the next smallest step.
One action, one owner, one date.
Final Steps
Force the light through your prism of inquiry. Turn the beach ball. Simple steps. Often overlooked. Practice them in your next meeting and notice how the temperature drops while clarity rises.
